So as I type this it is Monday Night here, I have just returned from my little Island Hideaway. You know the one where girls cannot get too.
But its time to poor my heart out............ .
Today I have mixed feelings as it is the One year Anniversary of me 'Almost' Making it in the Animation Industry. For me its always 'Almost' never has 'did' or 'am' been in the vocabulary.
On this particular time I lasted exactly 8 hours at the only animation company in Tasmania before being kicked out on my ass. I was devastated. The subject of which I shall reveal in a future blog. But anyway after I had licked my wounds that night I went on a Bender, I drank alot.
I don't know why I Fail? I just do! I was speaking to someone the other day about this exact problem and their solution was that 'Maybe you should seriously think of doing something else with your life rather than wasting it on a Dream that always ends in failure'
Its tough for me to hear that, But I understand why they say it. Alot of people ask me why I put myself down all the time when it comes to my artwork. And the simple answer is that I have worked really hard to get to the level I am at but its not enough....Its never Enough.
Why? I cant answer. I think I'm talented in my respective field thats not to say I see others who are better than me because I do. I feel however that I am beginning to feel that I am wasting away and so is my talent my passion for it is waning and although it makes me feel good when I get wonderfully talented artists comment on my work that are where they want to be and I'm not.
Is it my fault??
Probably, all I know is that besides all the jobs I never get paid for or never get I die a little more inside. I cant tell you how much it hurts me to say it but it might be time and to let the dream go.
But my question to you is, Is the world better to not have never known Matt Pott and his artwork?
Onto other things and yes I still havent seen Iron Man yet, I won tickets at work and I am taking my friend Marty on Wednesday night as I return the favour for taking me to see Transformers last year. I shall give a little mini review but I know I shall enjoy it!!
Well I thought I'd end on a high note after re-reading what I had earlier wrote. oi I cant believe I said what I have said!! Let me know your thoughts!!